Trying for Number Two

If you want kids, you’ve probably thought about how many you want to have. Maybe you’re of the mindset that you’ll stop having babies when your family feels complete. Or maybe, you have a predetermined number in your head that you will not waiver on, no matter what. Either way, at some point you have to decide if you want to start trying for number two…. unless you’re chill with one.

We had sort of decided more or less, that we would have 2 kids (hopefully). And then we’d call it. We weren’t going to keep trying for a girl or a boy, we don’t want to have to buy a bigger house or a (much) bigger vehicle. It was one for each hand, or one for each parent. On our drive home from the hospital with Callahan; me crying in the front seat because I was too far away from him, I looked at Tyler and said “so you’re good with 2 right?”. He agreed.

The next thing you have to figure out isย when.ย When is the right time to have a second one? Is there a right time? No, there isn’t. Is there a wrong time? Probably. I certainly didn’t want Irish twins. Nothing about that seems appealing. Thankfully (not so thankfully) I had very little desire to make any more babies. It was the furthest thing from my mind.

We debated with trying to get pregnant before I even got back to work. But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted a chance to get back into the swing of things at work (it was like riding a rusty tricycle with no seat). I wanted to lose more weight. (HAHAHAHAHAHA) I wanted to enjoy the summer, and the weddings that we were attending.

We agreed we’d start trying again in September- roughly translating to a June(ish) baby if things went hunky dory the first time around. When we didn’t get pregnant, neither of us was really disappointed. It was a weird feeling, almost like relief. Like okay, we can keep on doing what we’re doing. I mean, were we really ready to toss a hand-grenade into our lives? Everyone was finally sleeping…. What if we don’t like the next kid as much as we like Callahan? How can you love 2 kids the same as you love one? I honestly sometimes think my heart is going to explode with only one kid. I’m not sure I could handle the emotional stress (good stress, but still) of loving 2 kids. OMG!!!

I made a proposition to Tyler; I was turning 30 in November, how about we don’t try to get pregnant in October so that I can play a bit more basketball and soccer, and so that I can enjoy my 30th birthday. He wasย 100% down for this arrangement. Of course, we attended a friend’s wedding downtown in October, overnight, hotel, no kid… and peak ovulation day. We basically said, “Fuck it…Fuck you? I mean, Fuck me…?” ๐Ÿ˜‰

It would have been Murphy’s Law for me to get knocked up that night. But it did not happen. Which was A-okay in our books. On-wards and Upwards, or Upwards and Inwards? ( ha I’m hilarious)

So far I think deciding when to start trying has been more stressful than the first time around; for a myriad of reasons. The first time around you’re fucking clueless and blind with excitement. Now, I can’t imagine loving another child as much as I love Callahan, but from what I understand, it does happen. Its also in fairly recent memory the unpleasant pregnancy and postpartum symptoms. What if the next pregnancy isn’t as smooth as the last? What if there are complications? Say the world just keeps getting worse, do we want to subject another child to that? Plus we have Callahan to remind us every day of what the next kid could be like… or the exact opposite of. There’s no way to tell! You’re just fucking flipping a coin and hoping for the best!

In the end, it came down to the fact that we cannot expect any cousins for Callahan any time soon (which is totally fine, our siblings are all younger than us and there is no rush), but it means Callahan needs a sibling so he doesn’t become too spoiled. But also, so that he has a sibling he can be friends with. I also just wanted the unpleasant physical parts of pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum to be over. I didn’t want to drag it out and wait years, allowing me to forget things about the process, or adding complicating factors that sometimes come with age. Plus, you don’t know what life holds for you, so we figured, let’s get at it.

Whenever it happens, if it happens, we’ll be excited, we’ll be calmer, we’ll be more aware of what lies ahead, and yet totally unprepared for handling a toddler and a child. At least the next time, the baby won’t have to sleep in the kitchen!

Excuse me while I try and get as much sashimi and booze in me while I still can.

trying for number two

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Amazon and New Parents, A Match Made in Heaven

With all the new babies in our friend groups I thought I’d share a “parenting hack” that actually helped! Plus saving money is nice ๐Ÿ˜‰

This post contains affiliate links. This means that if you choose to purchase an item using one of the links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. I am not being paid to provide these reviews, all opinions are my own.

I had heard about Amazon subscriptions for a while, but had never bothered to try it out. Once I had to start buying breastfeeding and miscellaneous other baby junk I realized the benefits. These are things that are easy to forget when you’re at the store; mostly because you’re not used to buying them. But also because “mom-brain” and/or you’re Dad and you don’t use most of these things.

It’s inevitable that you’re going to get to the end of some of these and realize you don’t have enough to get you through the night or until your next shopping trip. Not to mention if the weather is poor or the baby is a tyrant that won’t let you quickly pop into the shop in peace! Now, you don’t have to leave the house! WOOOHOOO!!

When you subscribe to a single item on Amazon, you receive 5% off the price, if you subscribe to five items you receive 15% off the price, and the discount goes up from there. Many people rave about the benefits of the diaper subscription, but I could never figure out how fast he was going through diapers (I was too lazy to figure it out). But, I think I will be looking into it this weekend. You can unsubscribe from any item at any time, and there are various order times to choose from for each item (ie. monthly, weekly, quarterly..)

I have found that most of these items were cheaper on Amazon (and always in stock) than at the grocery store, even before the 5% discount. So after checking the prices, I would set the subscription and forget about it. A parcel would arrive just in time for me to be nearing empty.

These are a list of items I would highly recommend subscribing to; new parents, meet Amazon:

Playtex Diaper Genie Refills (3 pack).

If you have a Diaper Genie, you’ll new parents meet amazonbe buying these. I have these on a quarterly subscription, and always have one left by the time the new pack arrives. Even without the discount this is the cheapest price I have found. However, if you’re not a purist and you can remember to buy them- you can get a 4 pack of the Parent’s Choice (Walmart’s brand) for the same price as the 3 pack of the name brand. And if you really want to be frugal AF there is this hack from Mother’s Realm

Lansinoh HPA Lanolin Lotion (40g)

If you are breastfeeding (or attempting to), you will want some of this. new parents meet amazonEven if things go well breastfeeding, you’ll be wanting some relief in the first few days to weeks. Don’t be stingy, your nips will appreciate you slathering that shit on like your life depends on it. Apply directly to your breast pad after feedings, showers, and before bed. I used approximately a tube a month for the first 5-6 months, then I was able to stop using it. Through the winter I also used it for extremely chapped lips! Just beware that if you get this on your clothes it will never come out of them fully.

Lansinoh Disposible Nursing Pads (60 pack)

Whether you are breastfeeding or not, in the first few weeks you will wantnew parents meet amazon some nursing pads. If you are breastfeeding you will want some for a much longer period. You can buy reusable ones (better for the environment etc.) but I liked that these were really thin, absorbent, didn’t add to my laundry, and I could use them in a pinch for cleaning up any liquid messes or as a makeshift bandaid. I went through a box a month for about 6 months.

Traditional Medicinals Organic Mother’s Milk Tea (20 pack)

You can use this to help bring in your milk, or to help maintain/boost new parents meet amazonsupply while breastfeeding. When my milk production dropped due to a tongue and lip tie, as well as incompetence on both involved parties… I started pumping like mad and drinking 2-3 cups of this tea per day. I went through 2 boxes a month for about 4 months until we had things back under control, then I dropped to 1 cup a day. Also, I supplemented with Fenugreek capsules during the lowest dip in supply. There are many options for a “mother’s milk” tea blend, this is the one I used for ease of purchase, taste, and price… and it seemed to work!

So there you have it! A subscription will save you money and make your life easier, but you can also just purchase these items as you need them. I would recommend buying through Amazon (or at least comparing the prices if you have time) as Amazon was consistently cheaper than any store I had reasonable access to. Good luck!!

new parents meet amazon

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I’ll Get There Eventually…Probably… Maybe…

If you’ve been following me on Instagram for a while now, you may have seen the occasional post about my attempts at weight loss. It hasn’t been pretty, nor really all that successful. My best results were about 6 months before the wedding, it lasted all of a month and then I ate my way through Christmas and worked a bunch of night shifts. BAM. All the progress was gone. When we got the wedding pictures, there were a few pictures that I was disappointed in. Because of the weight *I* could see. Overall I was still pleased with the images. I forced myself to look past the things I noticed and focus on how great we all looked. How the plans I made had turned out perfectly.

So I started working out and eating healthy again that fall, and made a real push in November/December. I remember standing in the gym, mid-work, and trying not to cry because I looked worse than I ever had. Why?! I couldn’t figure it out; I had been working out daily, eating well, TRYING GOD DAMMIT!!! It took some commitment to finish that workout as hard as I’d started it. The next day I found out I was pregnant.

Well, that would explain a few things.

ill get there eventually
The happiest looking before pic

I tried to stay active (successful only up to about 20 weeks) and then a desk job, a stressful house selling/buying experience, and a lifelong lack of any self control meant I gained more weight than I wanted to deal with. This may not make sense, given my love of sport, but I HATE exercising. I HATE it. The only thing I hate more than that is eating salads, followed up closely by chicken breasts and pretty much any vegetables.

You see my problem now right?

So, I gave it some effort on my maternity leave, not a great effort mind you, but I tried. I just couldn’t find the motivation. I tried the ketogenic diet, and saw some progress, but if I broke the diet, even just for a small treat, I’d end up bloating out so bad I looked 7 months pregnant again. I’d be uncomfortable, unhappy, frustrated. So I opted to only “diet” Mon-Fri during the summer. This didn’t help me lose any weight, but I didn’t gain any more weight, and have stayed fairly consistent, occasionally dipping down, with only very mild peaks. Very little actual exercise, but whatever.

After going back to work, I had plans of working out on my lunch break every day. Turns out when I hammer out a workout and shower and rush back into my work clothes, I end up sweating for the rest of the day and that’s horribly uncomfortable. I’ll keep trying to do it, but mostly at lunch time, I just want to eat lunch.

ill get there eventuallySome things I know are: I did not get chunky because I had a baby. I got chunky because I have no self control, hate exercise, and love eating out. I also think I might be developing some level of dairy intolerance. But like anything not related to Callahan, I will turn a blind eye to it until it impacts my life negatively enough to consider not eating cheese. I mean seriously, cheese!

We’ll see what happens. In general I’m mostly indifferent to the extra weight, because my boobs are still bigger than they have ever been (not perky but, you win some- you lose some). I have slowly made it back into a few items of clothing; tighter than they were when they “fit properly” but its something. And when I can’t fit into something? I get upset, for like 5 minutes and then I move on. They are just clothes, it’s just a phase. I’ll get there eventually… probably… maybe… I write this surrounded by piles of empty halloween candy wrappers. One good thing that comes from gaining MORE weight? I look at those wedding pictures and think I looked AH-MAZING. Funny how that works.

I'll Get There Eventually

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