Things People Say to Pregnant Women and Shouldn’t

Things People Say to Pregnant Women
my face when you say any of these things to me

If you’ve ever said any of these things, you’re forgiven, but don’t do it again. No one wants to hear these things because they are unnecessary and rude. The most amazing thing about being pregnant, is how the second people find out, they think they can start asking you personal details and commenting on your body/mood and comparing you to their female relatives (how much weight have you gained? have you experienced the hornies yet? You look just like my daughter did and she had complications) these are things only your doctor and *sometimes* your baby daddy are allowed to ask, and they are certainly NOT appropriate to be coming from a coworker.

Things People say to Pregnant Women and Shouldn’t:

 

You’re getting so big!!

This is not a compliment, and hasn’t been since I was 4 years old. Unless I’m bulking up for a bodybuilding competition, and you’re discussing the girth of my bicep, never say this again.

I think he/she is going to be a big baby!!

I fucking hate you. Do you think the baby will be big because I’m clearly way bigger than Things People Say to Pregnant WomenI should be, or because you think I want to hear that the HUMAN that will make its debut through my vagina or a literal hole in my abdomen, is going to be gigantic? STOP saying this!!

You look ready to pop!!

I am no where near ready to pop you fuckstick. Also, humans generally don’t “pop”.

Breastfeeding ruins your boobs

No it doesn’t. Pregnancy “ruins” them. All the stretch marks and sagging you may have experienced was caused during pregnancy when they got porn star levels of huge; it just wasn’t noticable until that started to subside- after the breastfeeding.

Things People Say to Pregnant WomenYou’re eating for two!!

No. I’m eating for 1, and making sure its healthy, for 2. In the first trimester you don’t actually need any more calories than normal. In the second trimester, you need about 300 cal more than normal, and in the third trimester up to 500 cal more. So no, check your math skills, I am not eating for 2.

Who cares how big you get!

I care, my doctor cares, my baby cares. Gaining weight just because you’re pregnant is foolish and can be dangerous. Most things are left to genetics, but that doesn’t mean you can go buck wild on treats and food just because you’re pregnant. There can be serious medical consequences to gaining too much weight. Not to mention the more weight you gain the more you have to lose afterwards, because the baby/placenta/fluids, boobs/swelling probably only weigh between 10-15 lbs, the rest is a hole you’ve dug for yourself. It is really stressful trying to make sure you’re doing the best for your baby, and having people tell you to do the exact opposite of what you’re supposed to be doing, doesn’t help.

That weight will come off easily chasing the baby and breastfeeding!

I’m gonna smack you. You don’t “chase” a baby for months, and breastfeeding does not equal weight loss for everyone.

 

Things People Say to Pregnant Women
at a wedding 3 days before birth

Something people fail to realize, is that the shape, size, overall look of a woman’s bodyΒ while pregnant has almost nothing to do with weight gain and everything to do with where the baby is positioned, and her bone structure. Some people can eat perfectly, never going over on a calorie, always staying active and still get “enormous”. Some people can eat whatever they want and gain only what they needed, and then bounce back to pre-baby weight in a month (they are the chosen ones). A woman’s body should not be commented on by anyone other than her doctor. Some women never look pregnant, and wish they did, so telling them “you don’t look pregnant” isn’t a compliment either. Seriously just stop commenting on a woman’s body, pregnant or not.

Things you CAN say to a pregnant person:

Nothing pregnancy related unless she brings it up… then “you look great!” is the only safe response.

 

 

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Traveling while Breastfeeding vs Formula

There are probably about a billion posts on this, but I figured, why not add mine to the mix? Traveling can be stressful without a baby. Add baby to the mix and boom, more stress. More crap, more sweat, more benefits? Ha, that’s a stretch. But there is a lot of great experiences. One of the most hotly debated experiences of motherhood is: breastfeeding vs formula.

We did a couple mini roadtrips while I was exclusively breastfeeding and they were pretty okay; could have done with less crying to be honest, but what can you do? Literally everything, we tried everything. Anyways, our trip to Crete started with me breastfeeding and mixing in some formula, and ending with him exlusively on formula.

The benefits are obvious for breastfeeding exclusively and traveling:

  1. Less stuff to haul around
  2. Less stuff to clean and sterilze
  3. No need for boiled/bottled water
  4. Antibodies for baby if you pick up something on the journey
traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
There are worse places to breastfeed

I wasn’t stressed out either way, if he wanted to keep breastfeeding that was fine, but I was ready to be done as long as he was. Luckily for us, he took to the forumla right away, and he didn’t have any stomach problems from it, no apparent allergies etc.. Given the time change and fatigue, my boobs packed it in mid trip. I could have forced it, but as I didn’t care, I let them do what they wanted. Plus it was like 40 degrees and I wasn’t interested in having him on my body like that all the time. Can you say sweat city!?

The benefits for traveling with formula were actually pretty good (for me).

  1. I could actually relax on the holiday! Dad could take over some feeds!
  2. He could eat in his stroller, on the couch, or highchair instead of being attached to me in the heat.
  3. I didn’t have to whip my boobs out in unfamiliar places. (Greece is very family friendly, and I doubt I would have encountered any issues if I was breastfeeding in public, but it was just nice to not have to)
  4. I could stop worrying about the sunscreen I was applying to the area and baby’s exposure to it.
  5. Could stop worrying about alcohol completely. (I was never “worried” but now it was a non issue)
  6. If you are driving, you don’t have to stop to breastfeed, you can just pop a bottle in their mouth.
traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
Dad taking a shift as the feedbag

Prior to this trip I had kind of hoped to be able to breastfeed all the way through, just for the lighter bags. In the end I’m really happy with the way it turned out. If I’m traveling while breastfeeding in the future, and it would depend on the baby’s age; I will definitely bring a bottle and a small pack of formula, just in case the milk bags can’t keep up. I would rather enjoy my vacation and give my baby formula, then stress out and start pumping like mad to get things going again.

traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
finally taking some ownership in his own meals

Obviously this is a personal choice and it depends on how mom is feeling and on the baby. For me, breastfeeding wasn’t easy right off the bat, and we had to work hard at it. Eventually we found our groove and we made it to the 9 month mark before adding in formula and switching over.

Once I stopped breastfeeding I felt like a weight had been lifted. I could get help with the feeds and my body started to feel like my own again; the aches and pains associated with postpartum started to slowly fade. And cuddling with him while he eats from his bottle is now my favourite time; especially right before naps and bed. Prior feeds at these times were a chore for me because it was like I was already doing it constantly (given his short attention span and laziness towards eating). Now that I can share the workload throughout the day (or he feeds himself) I can fully enjoy those quiet moments just the two of us.

This isn’t a pro breastfeeding or pro formula post, but a personal experience post. Basically, if you think you can’t travel because you’re using formula or because you’re breastfeeding, stop worrying about it! There will always be a million reasons to not do something (or to do it) but just do what feels right for you. The important thing to remember is that the baby is well fed, regardless of the source, and that Mom is healthy and happy with her decision. Everyone else can fuck off.

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