Trying for Number Two

If you want kids, you’ve probably thought about how many you want to have. Maybe you’re of the mindset that you’ll stop having babies when your family feels complete. Or maybe, you have a predetermined number in your head that you will not waiver on, no matter what. Either way, at some point you have to decide if you want to start trying for number two…. unless you’re chill with one.

We had sort of decided more or less, that we would have 2 kids (hopefully). And then we’d call it. We weren’t going to keep trying for a girl or a boy, we don’t want to have to buy a bigger house or a (much) bigger vehicle. It was one for each hand, or one for each parent. On our drive home from the hospital with Callahan; me crying in the front seat because I was too far away from him, I looked at Tyler and said “so you’re good with 2 right?”. He agreed.

The next thing you have to figure out is when. When is the right time to have a second one? Is there a right time? No, there isn’t. Is there a wrong time? Probably. I certainly didn’t want Irish twins. Nothing about that seems appealing. Thankfully (not so thankfully) I had very little desire to make any more babies. It was the furthest thing from my mind.

We debated with trying to get pregnant before I even got back to work. But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted a chance to get back into the swing of things at work (it was like riding a rusty tricycle with no seat). I wanted to lose more weight. (HAHAHAHAHAHA) I wanted to enjoy the summer, and the weddings that we were attending.

We agreed we’d start trying again in September- roughly translating to a June(ish) baby if things went hunky dory the first time around. When we didn’t get pregnant, neither of us was really disappointed. It was a weird feeling, almost like relief. Like okay, we can keep on doing what we’re doing. I mean, were we really ready to toss a hand-grenade into our lives? Everyone was finally sleeping…. What if we don’t like the next kid as much as we like Callahan? How can you love 2 kids the same as you love one? I honestly sometimes think my heart is going to explode with only one kid. I’m not sure I could handle the emotional stress (good stress, but still) of loving 2 kids. OMG!!!

I made a proposition to Tyler; I was turning 30 in November, how about we don’t try to get pregnant in October so that I can play a bit more basketball and soccer, and so that I can enjoy my 30th birthday. He was 100% down for this arrangement. Of course, we attended a friend’s wedding downtown in October, overnight, hotel, no kid… and peak ovulation day. We basically said, “Fuck it…Fuck you? I mean, Fuck me…?” 😉

It would have been Murphy’s Law for me to get knocked up that night. But it did not happen. Which was A-okay in our books. On-wards and Upwards, or Upwards and Inwards? ( ha I’m hilarious)

So far I think deciding when to start trying has been more stressful than the first time around; for a myriad of reasons. The first time around you’re fucking clueless and blind with excitement. Now, I can’t imagine loving another child as much as I love Callahan, but from what I understand, it does happen. Its also in fairly recent memory the unpleasant pregnancy and postpartum symptoms. What if the next pregnancy isn’t as smooth as the last? What if there are complications? Say the world just keeps getting worse, do we want to subject another child to that? Plus we have Callahan to remind us every day of what the next kid could be like… or the exact opposite of. There’s no way to tell! You’re just fucking flipping a coin and hoping for the best!

In the end, it came down to the fact that we cannot expect any cousins for Callahan any time soon (which is totally fine, our siblings are all younger than us and there is no rush), but it means Callahan needs a sibling so he doesn’t become too spoiled. But also, so that he has a sibling he can be friends with. I also just wanted the unpleasant physical parts of pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum to be over. I didn’t want to drag it out and wait years, allowing me to forget things about the process, or adding complicating factors that sometimes come with age. Plus, you don’t know what life holds for you, so we figured, let’s get at it.

Whenever it happens, if it happens, we’ll be excited, we’ll be calmer, we’ll be more aware of what lies ahead, and yet totally unprepared for handling a toddler and a child. At least the next time, the baby won’t have to sleep in the kitchen!

Excuse me while I try and get as much sashimi and booze in me while I still can.

trying for number two

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Weekend City Guide :: Budapest

weekend city guide :: budapest

I remember arriving in Budapest and thinking I was in a First-Person shooter, Soviet era video game. That might sound a bit ridiculous but its how I felt. We arrived in the late evening, the airport was basically empty, there were lights not operating (or at least off) and none of the customs officials gave two shits about a flight full of people. Our Airbnb host had given us instructions on how to get there. We hopped on the bus and made our way through Budapest in the dark. We had to make one bus change, and the stop was a little derelict. It was hard really, to make any kind of evaluation of the area. It was winter, it was late, it was a weekday, and the buildings in this industrial area had a real communist feel to them.

weekend city guide :: budapest
our building

We hadn’t done much research on Budapest, deciding we’d just wing it like everything else. But what we had read, said to watch out for pick-pocketers and to keep purses out of sight. I wasn’t interested in having my belongings stolen, or seeing Tyler try to chase someone down and resist the urge to kill them. We arrived at our apartment, it was a single room with a bathroom. There was no kitchen, just a hot plate and a mini fridge, but the bed was decent and for a whopping $8 CAD a night, it was all we needed. Downstairs was a bakery, around the block we could get Pho, and across the street should we need it, a strip club.

weekend city guide :: budapest
Matthias Church

The next day we wandered around Pest aimlessly. The architecture in daylight and in the middle of the city much less communist feeling, and more romantic than the previous night. The buildings were beautiful, despite the weather making everything very grey. Looking at my pictures, Tyler chirps that I really “captured the essence of grey”.

weekend city guide :: budapest
View from Buda Castle

Eventually we walked across the bridge over the Danube to Buda. We took the funicular up to Buda Castle where we wandered around eating fresh funnel cakes and learning about the history of Budapest. That night we headed to the Jewish Quarter, which wasn’t too far from where we were staying and had an awesome meal (if I can find the name of the restaurant I will update for you, hopefully they are still in business). After dinner, we were starting to get on each other’s nerves. It was week 4 of 5 traveling together and we had been going non stop. We stopped at a mini mart, where I bought 6 ciders for my consumption that night. When we got back to the apartment, I went upstairs to watch some Downton Abbey and drink. Tyler walked across the street to the strippers.

We just needed a couple hours to ourselves. I watched a couple episodes and drank in bed. Tyler chatted up the bouncers, owner, and dancers at the strip club, given he was the only patron. It was like 7pm on a weekday, so business was slow. Turns out the owner was from Fort McMurray and the girls all wondered about getting visas to strip in Canada. He says it was one of the most bizarre experiences at a strip club in his life. And that’s saying something because he’s been to a few.

The next day we headed to the Széchenyi Thermal Bath. We had been looking forward to this for a while. We booked the VIP experience; all day access to the baths, a massage, and access to the VIP lounge. We felt pretty baller, walking around in our fuzzy robes and slippers. I could have used a rough massage like the one Tyler got, nearly a chiropractic adjustment; but mine was relaxing enough that I almost fell asleep. We then hung out for a while in the lounge. It was lovely, full of tropical plants and a glass roof letting in the light. We relaxed in hammocks and on loungers eating fresh fruit and guzzling spa water. Then we hit the baths. There were a lot of mustaches there. Seriously. A LOT of mustaches and speedos. Tyler was in heaven. The whole experience worked out to be about $100 CAD for both of us and it was well worth it.

weekend city guide :: budapestThe next day we visited the Holocaust Memorial Centre. It’s in a refurbished 1920s synagogue in the Jewish Quarter. It was a very beautiful and intimate monument to the thousands of Hungarian Jews that died in the Holocaust. I would definitely recommend visiting it. We completed that day with a trip to the Great Market Hall where we of course bought some meat and cheese products. Tyler also completed our trip to Budapest with a real cherry on top, buying his favourite pair of shorty short swim shorts. Note I didn’t say his only pair, just his favourite pair.

The Basics:

Accommodation: This was the Airbnb we stayed at. It was great for just the two of us. I would not stay here with kids. It’s just too small. I also can’t recall if there was an elevator… I think there may have been.

Transportation: We bought a bus pass for the time we were there. It was fairly easy to use, but we were only ever concerned about time/destination on our travel days.

Food and Beverage: We had some really great meals in Budapest. Make sure you get some goulash (of course!) we had a modern take on goulash one night and it was to die for. Also eat tons of funnel cakes.

Watch Out For: Your purse and pockets. We didn’t end up having any issues, but we kept only what we needed with us and kept it in inside pockets.

weekend city guide budapest
his fav pair

Must Sees: The baths and Buda Castle. The castle has great views of the Danube and the Pest waterfront, as well as some light history. Also visit the Holocaust Memorial Centre.

Things We’ll be Doing if We Get a Redo: Maybe visiting during a different season. We missed some major sites from a complete lack of research. This is probably one of the few destinations that wandering aimlessly caused us to miss the “important” things.

Traveling with Kids: Kids live in Budapest, so I would feel comfortable bringing them here. If you’re traveling with a stroller or diaper bag I would be cognizant of where they are and what is accessible in/on them.

weekend city guide :: budapest

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A Definitive Ranking of Upchuck, No Pictures, Don’t Worry.

Everyone has vomited at least once in their lives. That’s a fact. Maybe we can even find the positive spin on vomit and say its something we all have in common. This past week/end had a lot of vomit. Too much. I had plans on Wednesday to come home and open a bottle of wine, eat dinner, work on the blog a bit, and go to bed. Instead I got a phone call about 5 minutes from getting home.

“Callahan puked everywhere. I don’t know what to do, or where anything is.”

Excuse me? The kid puked, clean it up. JFC, what is this? You’re a grown ass man, and the cleaning products are in the same place as they’ve always been.

That was my initial thought, what I said was much more helpful:

“Clean up the chunks, put a towel down, I’ll be home in 5 minutes.”

a definitive ranking of upchuck
a catnap after yakking all night

We tidied Callahan and his room up, and I put him back down to bed. It was clear now, why Tyler had called. This wasn’t a regular amount of barf. This wasn’t just a spit-up like babies do, this was legit barf. Like a four foot radius outside of his crib kinda barf. I walked downstairs and turned the baby monitor on. Callahan was sitting upright, calmly in his crib. But something wasn’t right. His face was shiny. Fuck… We head back upstairs, confirming my suspicion. He’d puked again.

Turns out, he’d puke 5 more times that evening, the poor kid. Tyler had plans to make a nice dinner and instead we had our go to, a Hot’n’Ready. Callahan spent some time sleeping on me, on the couch while I ate cold pizza behind his head. Eventually he seemed to be stable enough to be put a definitive ranking of upchuckinto his crib. We rolled the crib into our room so we could hear him if he started puking/choking.

Fast forward 2 days later, I’m driving home from work and I can’t shake this nauseous feeling. I cancel my plans, which was a good call. And spend my evening vomiting. Chills, shits, vomit, you name it. I start texting with Tyler, who is away hunting. He’s experiencing the same things. Only he’s in a trailer with his buddy. That poor man.

Anyway, we all seem to be fine now; I bleached everything that is bleachable in the house; but it inspired me to rank the different sorts of regurgitations by least serious to most serious. Make sure you Pin this because, you never know when you’re going to need a ranking of regurgitations.

A Definitive Ranking of upchuck:

Spit-up : What a baby does after eating. Can be preceded by a burp, but not always. Babies mostly don’t react to this, it just happens, like breathing.

Vurp : When you burp, vomit in your mouth a little bit, and swallow it. Thank you Urban Dictionary for giving us a term for this phenomenon.

Rally Puke : The very responsible decision you made while drunk in an attempt to save the night and/or the morning.

Dry-Heave : The worst. Just let me vomit and feel the relief of emptying the gut or go away.

Vomit/Puke/Barf : Violent, unpleasant, usually caused by illness, bad food, too much booze, morning sickness, motion sickness, or having a weak stomach to gross looking things. Almost always causes cold sweats, runny noses, and you know the sweet, sweet relief that comes with ridding your body of the poison du jour.

a definitive ranking of upchuck

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