Things No One Tells You :: Babies

This is my final installment in the “Things No One Tells You” series (you can read the others here and here). This time its about babies, and if you’re thinking “oh man here’s another long rant/list” you can relax, thankfully, people never fail to tell you endless amounts of information about babies (even when you don’t want it). So here I go, throwing more information at you, unsolicited.

Things No One Tells You:

Soft Indicators on your Ultrasound. I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to try my best to give you the simplest explanation I can. At our 20 week ultrasound, they identified a “soft indicator” or a spot on the heart. This is likely a hole in the heart (which is very common at this stage, and will likely close up). The doctor asked us to come in and explained this to us. The first thing she said was “I am legally required to tell you this, otherwise I would not. In my experience this is usually not an issue, so don’t stress out about it”.

things no one tells
Our 1st ultrasound was hunky dory

What they are looking for are indicators of a genetic disorder (most commonly, Down Syndrome). This particular indicator was considered a “soft” indicator; basically there needs to be other indicators for this one to be taken seriously. I had initially said no to some blood tests at the beginning of my pregnancy, because the doctor explained there are a lot of false positives and it wasn’t worth the stress unless I was willing to put a giant needle into my belly for the 2nd set of tests (which I was not).

This day was the last day we could do the test. We opted to do it, not so we could terminate the pregnancy based on the results, but so we could prepare ourselves better for the future. (If you did terminate a pregnancy based on these tests, no judgement, everyone is different and every situation is different). The doctor scheduled us for another ultrasound a few weeks later and the test results came back fine.

That day was stressful, and it took mentioning it to a few friends before things no one tellswe realized how common this is. You probably know someone who has experienced this exact scenario, and all turned out well. This would have been a nice thing to know about ultrasounds prior to having one. Rather than the usual pseudoscience of gender guessing based on the location of the placenta.

As it turns out, many doctors are pushing to be able to withold this information unless there are more than one indicator, citing that the stress is harmful and the extra testing is a burden on the system, given the low rates of actual diagnoses compared to the high number of ultrasounds with “soft indicators”. So don’t panic and definitely don’t google this when you get home from the doctor’s office.

Benign Neonatal Sleep Myoclonus. This is the fancy term for this absolutely terrifying thing your baby might do. But guess what? It’s common and its not an issue. If you do a search of this, there are THOUSANDS of posts of panicked mothers looking for direction.

Here’s what it is, in simpleton: While nursing Callahan, he was falling asleep and he started shaking. Initially it looked like a seizure. And I freaked out. I started yelling his name (which he still didn’t know, so, not helpful) and then I noticed a few things that helped me calm down… 1) Only his upper body was shaking. 2) He wasn’t clamping onto my breast, but still nursing. 4) He wasn’t flailing, it was fairly mild, but still alarming. 3) It stopped after about 7-10 seconds. I immediately googled this and saw all these responses and calmed down.

things no one tells
see he’s fine, LOL

You know when you’re falling asleep and sometimes you twitch/feel like you’re falling? Essentially this is what’s happening with the baby. Their Neurological systems are still developing and are just firing at random. This happened a few more times and then it happened one day as he was waking up, poor Tyler, I had forgot to mention it had happened at all, so he rightfully panicked. I decided to mention it to my doctor, as the waking up shaking wasn’t mentioned in any of the posts, just the falling asleep. I wasn’t worried, but as one of my sisters had been diagnosed with epilepsy a few years prior, thought it best to be sure.

Given the family history, my doctor agreed it was likely nothing, to try and catch it on video (which I never managed since it was always done before I could grab my phone), and referred us to the pediatrician for peace of mind. All was well, the pediatrician said its very common and not a concern. My sister having epilepsy (and her type of epilepsy) was not a factor, unless I or Tyler had epilepsy, and unless it gets worse or he doesn’t outgrow it in the next year or so, there is no need to be concerned.

Having mentioned this to a few co-workers and friends, yet again we learned it was common and no big deal. He rarely does this now, but he also doesn’t nurse to sleep anymore, and when it does happen, its always when he’s being woken up in his car seat or stroller. Even then, its usually just one of his hands twitching, not a full body spasm anymore.

things no one tells
nothing wrong with the kid, the other guy? not so sure

So there you have it, things no one tells you about your baby. Now you won’t panic if it happens, you’re welcome. I also think the advice my friend told me about pregnancy can be applied to babies:

Everything is normal until its not.

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Things People Say to New Parents and Shouldn’t

I’m gonna cut to the chase here because I’m hella tired and this doesn’t need much of an intro… so without further ado, things people say to new parents and shouldn’t:

Is the baby sleeping through the night yet?things people say to new parents and shouldn't

No, that’s not how babies work. They are designed to wake up frequently to eat through the first few months. Don’t talk to me about sleep training or what you did, we are in survival mode over here. Just like you were, or your friend, or your neighbour. Please stop talking about sleep.

Are you getting much sleep?

Please lets not talk about this. If I’m not I don’t want to dwell on it. If I am, I can’t say so without someone complaining about how they had no sleep and their life was sooooo hard. Just because I’m sleeping okay doesn’t mean things aren’t hard over here.

Are you breastfeeding?

None of your damn business .

So, are you going to have another?

No. A) None of your damn business. B) Leave my poor battered body alone, its done enough. C) We can’t even imagine what tomorrow looks like, let alone plan for another baby. D) There is no P & V tango right now, probably.

things people say to new parents and shouldn'tYou’re going to spoil the baby by holding it so much.

Negative. A baby cannot be spoiled by your love and touch. A baby doesn’t even understand that you two aren’t one being. Some time around the 6 month mark, baby will start to realize they are a separate being, but until then, cuddle the shit out of them.

Aren’t you just so happy?

I was, but not everyone is. You can see how this might be hard to answer (lie about) constantly. That it would eat at you as the days go by and you aren’t happy. It’s okay to not be okay, and people should start changing the phrasing of this question to someting more like “how are you doing? Is everything okay?”. If someone does ask like this, Moms and Dads, tell them the truth if you need some help.

Everything is a phase, this too will pass.things people say to new parents and shouldn't

Fuck off. This is so annoying. Rather than giving me some fucking useless cliche, how about you offer some actual tangible help. Wash my dishes, watch the baby for 20 minutes so I can shower, take the dog for a walk. Or show me what you did that worked, recommend a product you swear by. HELP MEEEEEEE! I know everything is a phase for fuck’s sake, we don’t shit in diapers for our whole lives, I’m not an idiot. But things are hard right now so help or buzz off.

Things you CAN say to new parents:

Do you need any groceries?

Can I help you with some chores?

Can I take your idiot dog off your hands for a while?

Your baby is fucking adorable.

(If baby clearly looks like one parent, throw the other parent a bone) OMIGOSH baby looks just like you!!

What do you like in your coffee?

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Things No One Tells You :: Postpartum

Last week, I provided a list of things no one tells you in relation to pregnancy. I will admit that list isn’t too bad, but it was more of a precursor for this one anyways. Postpartum. The fourth trimester and beyond. The time in your life where you think to yourself “what the fuck is going on?” hourly, if not more. Again, there are tons of lists out there on the world wide web. They claim they will tell you things no one will about delivery and postpartum; again those lists are all the same, and its all in your “What to Expect…” book. Here are the things I wish someone had sat me down, looked me in the eyes and told me.

Things No One Tells You:
  1. Somewhere in the first week you will have a hormone dump. This usually
    Things no one tells
    The calm before the storm

    falls around the 4th night, but can vary person to person. This day is the worst; do not have visitors, do not plan to do anything, have lots of snacks and water ready, and have a helper. This hit me at about 4am on the 4th night, struggling to breastfeed, tired as fuck, clueless, I sat on the couch holding my baby and sobbing. Tyler sat next to me and just said over and over, “I’m so sorry I don’t know how to help you”. The hormone dump is brutal. I suggest writing it on the calendar so that when you think you’ve broken irreparably and you can’t be a mother, you can look at the calendar and go “oh, that’s why this seems so hard”, take a breath, and get through it.

  2. You will sweat. You probably read about this, but what they all fail to
    Things no one tells
    notice how I’m shirtless in nearly every pic? SWEATY MOFO

    convey is HOW MUCH you will sweat. You will wake up and feel like you’re in the Amazon, it will feel like the air is heavy and you might even feel a bit claustrophobic (another reason to avoid a summer birth.) You will wake up in the middle of the night drenched and needing to towel off. The baby will wake you up 30 mintues later, and you’ll need to towel off again. You will feel disgusting. I suggest buying a mattress protector and an extra set of sheets before D-Day, also keep a towel next to the bed, for convenience.

  3. Fluids. SO. MANY. FLUIDS. You will have heard about how milk will just pour out of your (no longer) funbags, about the lochia which can last up to 8 weeks, and I’ve explained the sweat situation already. Let me paint you a picture… You will wake up and feed the baby, feeling disgusting, you will hand the baby over to Dad and go have a shower; so you can feel less swamp monster, and more human. You will save time (and water) and pee in the shower, it is then that you will consider for a moment the absolute leaking mess that you are. Water, tears (the shower is a good place to cry and you’ll cry through many of them), sweat, pee, milk, lochia… You will feel very odd, and then you may even laugh like I did. Because WTF, a woman’s body is totally amazing and fucked up. You will get out and dry off, put your hair into a bun, grab a fresh enormous pad, and feel clean again, for a short time at least. That is your new heaven; feeling clean, a baby who is sleeping peacefully, drinking your coffee and eating your breakfast that your baby daddy made for you. ahhh.
  4. Breastfeeding blows. Yes, its amazing that you can nourish a child with only your tatas, and yes its an intimate time, just you and your little one. But seriously, cut the crap. Its fucking hard work, it can be uncomfortable to the point of torturous, and while there is more support than there has
    Things no one tells
    The day the milk and the hormones dumped. ooof

    been in millenia, there is still not enough. If your nips are sore to the point you are crying or dreading feeding your baby, I highly recommend seeing a lacatation consultant (I actually recommend seeing one even if you aren’t struggling, because there is always room for improvement. They may catch something that isn’t an issue now, but will be in the future). By the time I called Jodi, I had nearly broken my foot kicking the coffee table as Callahan would latch. My nipples were bleeding (which was alarming when Callahan spat up brown fluids) and raw and I hated life. Jodi will know when the next kid is born before any of our family does. If you are set on breastfeeding, spend the money and book with an LC in advance, you won’t regret it.

    1. In addition to breastfeeding being hard, it will KILL your libido- its not the fact you had the baby that kills it, its the breastfeeding (hormones are a mother fucker). And it lasts a LOOOOOONG ass time.
    2. Also, breastfeeding doesn’t ruin your breasts. Pregnancy does. The damage is done long before the milk comes in. Speaking of milk coming in, that is also a brutal day. Hot, sweating, leaking, hard as rocks, baby still doesn’t know what it’s doing… I wish you luck. I ran around like a chiken with my head cut off, my boobs looked like a fembot’s and Callahan wasn’t interested in eating that day to relieve the pressure. It was also the day of the hormone dump, yowza.
  5. Breastfeeding DOES NOT equal weight loss. Yes, it burns extra calories,
    Things no one tells
    Weight/gut still there. Also this was basically my uniform

    but you also have to eat more to sustain your milk. I’m sure there are some lucky bitches out there that swear they lost all the baby weight by breastfeeding, but that wasn’t me, nor was it most of my friends or relatives. I was SOOOO hungry. Given that I didn’t have any real cravings while I was pregnant, I was unprepared for this primal urge to eat. I couldn’t control it, I had to eat. I remember one day, when Tyler left the house for a few hours and I just scrounged food like a freaking raccoon and ate nonstop for 3 hours. I’m not exaggerating.

  6. Your hair will fall out at an alarming rate, you’ve probably heard this before; but it will do this for AGES. Callahan is over a year old and my hair is still falling out like mad. My hair receeded at the temples and I have those lovely little “mom bangs” all around my face. I look like a pubescent lion. No matter how much effort I put in, my hair looks like hell. My lovely friend and hair stylist told me not to wear my hair tight in buns and ponytails; but to braid it. Keep it loose to help with all of this. But its impossible since I can’t do anything other than a ponytail or a bun, and I am so sweaty, the hair HAS to be up.
  7. Joint pain is a bitch. The relaxin hormone is starting to subside, the extra weight, the fatigue, the sitting and feeding baby for hours on end; it adds up. I would wake up in the morning and my feet would hurt to walk, I
    Things no one tells
    so much time on the couch

    would waddle, making quick little steps to avoid putting too much weight (haha) on them. It would take a solid 20 minutes before they stopped hurting. They would ache again if I was sitting for a while. My knees ached, getting off the couch became a struggle. You can also become susceptible to “mother’s wrist” which is caused by putting your wrist at weird angles to hold your baby while feeding or carrying. (Try to support the baby with your arm, leaving your wrist in a neutral position.) I “threw my back out” almost monthly, carrying him, sitting, tight muscles, relaxin, baby seat, strollers, etc… there’s a lot of pressure on your body, pretend you’re still pregnant and get other people to do stuff for you. Take it easy, and go to the RMT and Chiropractor. When you’re cleared for take off, see a trainer that specializes in postpartum fitness.

  8. Loss of bladder control is VERY common, but NOT normal. If you have
    Things no one tells
    hair always up. shirt never on.

    these issues, see a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist. It will change your life. If you’re a mature woman who’s kids are long grown, they can still help you. I only had 3 appointments and saw a difference in my control and my back problems after the first appointment. Your pelvic floor is the foundation of your body, if there is an issue there, nothing else will be truly fixed despite all your efforts.

I think the thing I was not prepared for (most pissed about) was how long all of these things last. For real, Callahan is over one, I stopped breastfeeding completely 3 months ago, and I still have some of these lingering on! My rings will now go on, but won’t come off. My feet still ache in the morning but not as bad, my joints and back are finally feeling better, my hair still falls out like mad, and the weight is still there, but slowly going away (like molasses uphill in the winter), and I still sweat like a mofo! Although not as bad as the time immediately after birth, but it’s not a cute amount to be sure.

Considering I had a smooth pregnancy, I would say I hated the postpartum feelings more than a third trimester in the summer or actually giving birth. I’ve said it many times since, but those first few weeks were so hard with all of the above, and our difficulty breastfeeding, that I would have given birth 3 times a week for 3 weeks than deal with that again. People focus on what your body is doing during pregnancy, and then they focus on the baby, but what we really need to be talking about is Mom and her body in those postpartum months (and months, and months). Add in any amount of postpartum depression/anxiety/blues/rage (yes, postpartum rage is a thing) and you’ve got quite a hole to climb back out of.

Things no one tells
would do it over again in a heartbeat

So there is my list of things I wish someone would have told me. Try to find the humour in it all. Yell at your tv, or cry in the shower. Ask for help, and more help. You will all survive this and thrive. When people ask you how you’re doing, tell them the truth; no one can help you if you don’t tell them what you need; even if all you want is to stop spewing fluids like a colander.

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Things No One Tells You :: Pregnancy

Things No One Tells
You WILL get to balance food on your belly A+

While I was pregnant, I googled A LOT. I was so fascinated by the fact was growing a human, I wanted to know every cool and weird little factoid I could. I also googled a lot of things to prepare myself. And yes, to check and see if that was normal. I have a bone to pick people!!! WHY DO PREVIOUSLY PREGNANT PEOPLE HIDE THE FACTS?!?! And don’t spout off to me about amnesia and whatnot. Seriously, there were so many things I would have LOVED to know about in advance. Also, when I was searching and clicking on every post that said “Things no one tells you about pregnancy” they were all the same lists, and all common knowledge.

Things No One Tells You:
  1. Maternity Clothes are fucking boring. You are excited about all
    Things No One Tells
    not maternity clothes

    the cute things you’ll get to wear; you’ll be just as stylish as all those celebrities, but on a budget. NOPE. That’s a hard pass little miss. What is available to you in stores, is matronly and pricey. Oh and if you do find cute things, they’re likely online, in a foreign currency, with no way to try them on, and oh yea, you’ll have to give up that baby your cooking to be able to afford it.

  2. Materinty pants SUCK. You think they will be the best given the lack of a wasitband, but all they do is slide down your ass with each step because THERE IS NO WAISTBAND. Seriously, don’t waste your money on pants and just stick to leggings and dresses.
  3. Cramping is normal. Don’t panic.
  4. Things No One Tells
    Still NOT maternity clothes

    Your deoderant will at some point give out on you. And then it will give out on you again during the postpartum phase. One minute you smell like coconuts and sunshine and the next you’re sniffing around looking for that homeless guy that must be nearby, only to realize its you.

  5. You will chafe, and you will waddle. Even if you think you’re doing pretty good and walking normally; if you ask anyone around you, they will either lie or tell you that you do, in fact have a cute (NOT CUTE) waddle.
  6. If you forget a prenatal here and there don’t lose your shit, the kid is ok.
  7. Pregnancy pillows are a must and your bedmate will HATE it. But they can fuck right off with that complaint.
  8. Yeast Infections. Yup. If you’ve never had one, you’re in for a treat. I got
    Things No One Tells
    Exercising my usual level of DGAF

    one at about 5 weeks and spent the rest of my pregnancy with it. Thankfully, I was not uncomfortable, only disgusted and embarrassed. And before you start giving me suggestions on how to deal with this, I tried everything under the sun and nothing caused it to subside.

  9. Bladder Infections are also super common, and the antibiotics are fine. Don’t stress out. Deal with it properly because it can be bad for the fetus.
  10. You may not feel the pregnancy hornies and may hate the touch of your partner… or anyone for that matter. Its normal, and it will probably continue through the postpartum period.
  11. You won’t care about your looks. For some of us, this will be the first time experiencing this phenomenon. It is AMAZING. I don’t mean you don’t care, so you don’t try (although I dabbled with that method for most of my pregnancy). What I mean is, you won’t be sucking your gut in to look skinny, you won’t be worried about if you had a big lunch, you won’t be self conscious. I remember feeling truly free during this period. I’m actually jealous of my pregnant friends because they are experiencing this amazing feeling right now.
Things No One Tells
Never felt more comfortable in a bikini!!!

This may not be a life changing list for you, but its what I would have loved to know. If I may pass along one thing a friend told me:

In pregnancy, everything is normal until its not normal.

So chill dude.

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Traveling while Breastfeeding vs Formula

There are probably about a billion posts on this, but I figured, why not add mine to the mix? Traveling can be stressful without a baby. Add baby to the mix and boom, more stress. More crap, more sweat, more benefits? Ha, that’s a stretch. But there is a lot of great experiences. One of the most hotly debated experiences of motherhood is: breastfeeding vs formula.

We did a couple mini roadtrips while I was exclusively breastfeeding and they were pretty okay; could have done with less crying to be honest, but what can you do? Literally everything, we tried everything. Anyways, our trip to Crete started with me breastfeeding and mixing in some formula, and ending with him exlusively on formula.

The benefits are obvious for breastfeeding exclusively and traveling:

  1. Less stuff to haul around
  2. Less stuff to clean and sterilze
  3. No need for boiled/bottled water
  4. Antibodies for baby if you pick up something on the journey
traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
There are worse places to breastfeed

I wasn’t stressed out either way, if he wanted to keep breastfeeding that was fine, but I was ready to be done as long as he was. Luckily for us, he took to the forumla right away, and he didn’t have any stomach problems from it, no apparent allergies etc.. Given the time change and fatigue, my boobs packed it in mid trip. I could have forced it, but as I didn’t care, I let them do what they wanted. Plus it was like 40 degrees and I wasn’t interested in having him on my body like that all the time. Can you say sweat city!?

The benefits for traveling with formula were actually pretty good (for me).

  1. I could actually relax on the holiday! Dad could take over some feeds!
  2. He could eat in his stroller, on the couch, or highchair instead of being attached to me in the heat.
  3. I didn’t have to whip my boobs out in unfamiliar places. (Greece is very family friendly, and I doubt I would have encountered any issues if I was breastfeeding in public, but it was just nice to not have to)
  4. I could stop worrying about the sunscreen I was applying to the area and baby’s exposure to it.
  5. Could stop worrying about alcohol completely. (I was never “worried” but now it was a non issue)
  6. If you are driving, you don’t have to stop to breastfeed, you can just pop a bottle in their mouth.
traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
Dad taking a shift as the feedbag

Prior to this trip I had kind of hoped to be able to breastfeed all the way through, just for the lighter bags. In the end I’m really happy with the way it turned out. If I’m traveling while breastfeeding in the future, and it would depend on the baby’s age; I will definitely bring a bottle and a small pack of formula, just in case the milk bags can’t keep up. I would rather enjoy my vacation and give my baby formula, then stress out and start pumping like mad to get things going again.

traveling while breastfeeding vs formula
finally taking some ownership in his own meals

Obviously this is a personal choice and it depends on how mom is feeling and on the baby. For me, breastfeeding wasn’t easy right off the bat, and we had to work hard at it. Eventually we found our groove and we made it to the 9 month mark before adding in formula and switching over.

Once I stopped breastfeeding I felt like a weight had been lifted. I could get help with the feeds and my body started to feel like my own again; the aches and pains associated with postpartum started to slowly fade. And cuddling with him while he eats from his bottle is now my favourite time; especially right before naps and bed. Prior feeds at these times were a chore for me because it was like I was already doing it constantly (given his short attention span and laziness towards eating). Now that I can share the workload throughout the day (or he feeds himself) I can fully enjoy those quiet moments just the two of us.

This isn’t a pro breastfeeding or pro formula post, but a personal experience post. Basically, if you think you can’t travel because you’re using formula or because you’re breastfeeding, stop worrying about it! There will always be a million reasons to not do something (or to do it) but just do what feels right for you. The important thing to remember is that the baby is well fed, regardless of the source, and that Mom is healthy and happy with her decision. Everyone else can fuck off.

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A Brown Bear, Brown Bear Birthday

Prior to having kids, I never understood why people spent so much money on a kid’s first birthday party. I mean, its not like they are going to remember it. And friends? They don’t really have friends, you could trade one kid out for another and Callahan wouldn’t notice, he’d just be happy they are interacting with him.

Brown Bear BirthdayBut now, after throwing our own first birthday party I get it, its for the parents. It’s for them to watch (and remember) their kid’s face light up with wonderment when they see a balloon or a candle or a new toy. Its fucking adorable, and worth every effort. We amalgamated our house warming party and his first birthday party because everyone is busy these days, so why not combine things and do it once and do it right? Callahan loves the Brown Bear Brown Bear book by Eric Carle, so we did a Brown Bear Birthday party theme, and it was so cute.

Brown Bear Birthday
Brown Bear Birthday Cake by Grandma

The Thursday before, I went down hard with the flu. Came home from work early, head ready to explode, achy, sweating profusely, eye balls hurting, light headed. The pits. I slept for 11 hours that night, going to bed medicated right after Callahan did. I stayed home Friday feeling only marginally better and PANICKING about being sick and having all these people coming over the next day. The house looked like a bomb had gone off, Tyler was on night shifts, but thankfully my sister was over to take care of Callahan so I didn’t get him sick. I had multiple epsom salt baths and drank 18 L of Honey and Lemon water.

Brown Bear Birthday
A gift for another day from Uncle Steve

Tyler put the meats and the beans in the smoker Friday evening around 7pm for the night and I eventually started some mild cleaning that day; laundry, dishes, nothing major as I didn’t have the energy. Saturday morning I put on my best cleaning outfit and sweat my bag off cleaning the house. Tyler in charge of Callahan and the food, me continuing to sweat this bug out through the power of vacuuming. It worked, the house (and me) was cleaned just in time for the party to begin.

Callahan’s plans differed from mine, in that I wanted to him to have a napBrown Bear Birthday and wake up just after people started arriving, and his plan involved no nap. So I gave up trying and brought him downstairs to see everyone. He had already spotted some of his decorations prior to the nap, and was pretty jazzed about them, so I think it was naive of me to think he’d nap, sensing something exciting was happening. I made a purchasing error and bought his birthday onesie in a size (maybe 2) too big. So he walked around all day with a half soaked onesie drooping between his knees, but he didn’t seem bothered.

Brown Bear BirthdayHe went ALL afternoon without a nap. He didn’t cry, he didn’t get whiny, he didn’t do anything but full-time mash about with a smile on his face the whole afternoon. It was unbelieveable. And he was teething. I’ve seen pictures of kids at their first birthday where they are all cute and posed nicely. Or they’re Β chilling, playing with their new toys, and Callahan’s pictures are not like that. Every so often I would scoop him up and he’d eat an ounce of a bottle. Then he’d take off again. As if he was the energizer bunny, requiring only 1 oz of formula and a cuddle 0.5 seconds long to recharge. I think Tyler and I saw him for all of 4 minutes that afternoon. At some point I had to tell myself to sit down and eat. Vodka sodas and one coffee that morning were not going to sustain me.

He had a terrible, terrible sleep that night and definitely woke up with a Brown Bear Birthdaycold, but I think he had a good time. It was fun to open presents and see all our friends and their kids (running around like crazy too). I overestimated how much kids like goldfish crackers and have about a kilo still in my cupboards. But I definitely underestimated (probably to all the parent’s relief) how much kids like dinosours candies.

Brown Bear BirthdayI’m glad we did his party on the Saturday before his actual birthday, because I barely got to see him that day. His actual birthday has been chill (Tyler has the flu, which means I got to stay home from work!). So I’ve actully been able to see him and play with him. I’ve been filling in this paper time capsule my sister got me (for him): Letters to my Baby during his naps and trying not to become a blubbering fool, but it isn’t working.

Brown Bear Birthday
his actual birthday morning

I remember when he was only a few days old thinking, “fuck, FUCK!!” (literally, that’s all I could think of, it is a complete thought, so give me some credit) Not being able to imagine a year from then, as it seemed so far away, yet here we are. We all suvived and we actually like each other even more than we did then. I’d say, 18 years is a long way away; but after experiencing how quickly this year whipped by, I know it’ll be his 18th birthday in no time. Excuse me while I start blubbering again, like a damn fool.

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