Trying for Number Two

If you want kids, you’ve probably thought about how many you want to have. Maybe you’re of the mindset that you’ll stop having babies when your family feels complete. Or maybe, you have a predetermined number in your head that you will not waiver on, no matter what. Either way, at some point you have to decide if you want to start trying for number two…. unless you’re chill with one.

We had sort of decided more or less, that we would have 2 kids (hopefully). And then we’d call it. We weren’t going to keep trying for a girl or a boy, we don’t want to have to buy a bigger house or a (much) bigger vehicle. It was one for each hand, or one for each parent. On our drive home from the hospital with Callahan; me crying in the front seat because I was too far away from him, I looked at Tyler and said “so you’re good with 2 right?”. He agreed.

The next thing you have to figure out isย when.ย When is the right time to have a second one? Is there a right time? No, there isn’t. Is there a wrong time? Probably. I certainly didn’t want Irish twins. Nothing about that seems appealing. Thankfully (not so thankfully) I had very little desire to make any more babies. It was the furthest thing from my mind.

We debated with trying to get pregnant before I even got back to work. But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted a chance to get back into the swing of things at work (it was like riding a rusty tricycle with no seat). I wanted to lose more weight. (HAHAHAHAHAHA) I wanted to enjoy the summer, and the weddings that we were attending.

We agreed we’d start trying again in September- roughly translating to a June(ish) baby if things went hunky dory the first time around. When we didn’t get pregnant, neither of us was really disappointed. It was a weird feeling, almost like relief. Like okay, we can keep on doing what we’re doing. I mean, were we really ready to toss a hand-grenade into our lives? Everyone was finally sleeping…. What if we don’t like the next kid as much as we like Callahan? How can you love 2 kids the same as you love one? I honestly sometimes think my heart is going to explode with only one kid. I’m not sure I could handle the emotional stress (good stress, but still) of loving 2 kids. OMG!!!

I made a proposition to Tyler; I was turning 30 in November, how about we don’t try to get pregnant in October so that I can play a bit more basketball and soccer, and so that I can enjoy my 30th birthday. He wasย 100% down for this arrangement. Of course, we attended a friend’s wedding downtown in October, overnight, hotel, no kid… and peak ovulation day. We basically said, “Fuck it…Fuck you? I mean, Fuck me…?” ๐Ÿ˜‰

It would have been Murphy’s Law for me to get knocked up that night. But it did not happen. Which was A-okay in our books. On-wards and Upwards, or Upwards and Inwards? ( ha I’m hilarious)

So far I think deciding when to start trying has been more stressful than the first time around; for a myriad of reasons. The first time around you’re fucking clueless and blind with excitement. Now, I can’t imagine loving another child as much as I love Callahan, but from what I understand, it does happen. Its also in fairly recent memory the unpleasant pregnancy and postpartum symptoms. What if the next pregnancy isn’t as smooth as the last? What if there are complications? Say the world just keeps getting worse, do we want to subject another child to that? Plus we have Callahan to remind us every day of what the next kid could be like… or the exact opposite of. There’s no way to tell! You’re just fucking flipping a coin and hoping for the best!

In the end, it came down to the fact that we cannot expect any cousins for Callahan any time soon (which is totally fine, our siblings are all younger than us and there is no rush), but it means Callahan needs a sibling so he doesn’t become too spoiled. But also, so that he has a sibling he can be friends with. I also just wanted the unpleasant physical parts of pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum to be over. I didn’t want to drag it out and wait years, allowing me to forget things about the process, or adding complicating factors that sometimes come with age. Plus, you don’t know what life holds for you, so we figured, let’s get at it.

Whenever it happens, if it happens, we’ll be excited, we’ll be calmer, we’ll be more aware of what lies ahead, and yet totally unprepared for handling a toddler and a child. At least the next time, the baby won’t have to sleep in the kitchen!

Excuse me while I try and get as much sashimi and booze in me while I still can.

trying for number two

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Amazon and New Parents, A Match Made in Heaven

With all the new babies in our friend groups I thought I’d share a “parenting hack” that actually helped! Plus saving money is nice ๐Ÿ˜‰

This post contains affiliate links. This means that if you choose to purchase an item using one of the links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. I am not being paid to provide these reviews, all opinions are my own.

I had heard about Amazon subscriptions for a while, but had never bothered to try it out. Once I had to start buying breastfeeding and miscellaneous other baby junk I realized the benefits. These are things that are easy to forget when you’re at the store; mostly because you’re not used to buying them. But also because “mom-brain” and/or you’re Dad and you don’t use most of these things.

It’s inevitable that you’re going to get to the end of some of these and realize you don’t have enough to get you through the night or until your next shopping trip. Not to mention if the weather is poor or the baby is a tyrant that won’t let you quickly pop into the shop in peace! Now, you don’t have to leave the house! WOOOHOOO!!

When you subscribe to a single item on Amazon, you receive 5% off the price, if you subscribe to five items you receive 15% off the price, and the discount goes up from there. Many people rave about the benefits of the diaper subscription, but I could never figure out how fast he was going through diapers (I was too lazy to figure it out). But, I think I will be looking into it this weekend. You can unsubscribe from any item at any time, and there are various order times to choose from for each item (ie. monthly, weekly, quarterly..)

I have found that most of these items were cheaper on Amazon (and always in stock) than at the grocery store, even before the 5% discount. So after checking the prices, I would set the subscription and forget about it. A parcel would arrive just in time for me to be nearing empty.

These are a list of items I would highly recommend subscribing to; new parents, meet Amazon:

Playtex Diaper Genie Refills (3 pack).

If you have a Diaper Genie, you’ll new parents meet amazonbe buying these. I have these on a quarterly subscription, and always have one left by the time the new pack arrives. Even without the discount this is the cheapest price I have found. However, if you’re not a purist and you can remember to buy them- you can get a 4 pack of the Parent’s Choice (Walmart’s brand) for the same price as the 3 pack of the name brand. And if you really want to be frugal AF there is this hack from Mother’s Realm

Lansinoh HPA Lanolin Lotion (40g)

If you are breastfeeding (or attempting to), you will want some of this. new parents meet amazonEven if things go well breastfeeding, you’ll be wanting some relief in the first few days to weeks. Don’t be stingy, your nips will appreciate you slathering that shit on like your life depends on it. Apply directly to your breast pad after feedings, showers, and before bed. I used approximately a tube a month for the first 5-6 months, then I was able to stop using it. Through the winter I also used it for extremely chapped lips! Just beware that if you get this on your clothes it will never come out of them fully.

Lansinoh Disposible Nursing Pads (60 pack)

Whether you are breastfeeding or not, in the first few weeks you will wantnew parents meet amazon some nursing pads. If you are breastfeeding you will want some for a much longer period. You can buy reusable ones (better for the environment etc.) but I liked that these were really thin, absorbent, didn’t add to my laundry, and I could use them in a pinch for cleaning up any liquid messes or as a makeshift bandaid. I went through a box a month for about 6 months.

Traditional Medicinals Organic Mother’s Milk Tea (20 pack)

You can use this to help bring in your milk, or to help maintain/boost new parents meet amazonsupply while breastfeeding. When my milk production dropped due to a tongue and lip tie, as well as incompetence on both involved parties… I started pumping like mad and drinking 2-3 cups of this tea per day. I went through 2 boxes a month for about 4 months until we had things back under control, then I dropped to 1 cup a day. Also, I supplemented with Fenugreek capsules during the lowest dip in supply. There are many options for a “mother’s milk” tea blend, this is the one I used for ease of purchase, taste, and price… and it seemed to work!

So there you have it! A subscription will save you money and make your life easier, but you can also just purchase these items as you need them. I would recommend buying through Amazon (or at least comparing the prices if you have time) as Amazon was consistently cheaper than any store I had reasonable access to. Good luck!!

new parents meet amazon

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Hunting Season is Upon Us

Warning- there is an image in this post that could be disturbing to some viewers, it is of a dead deer (there is a small amount of blood, but nothing gory).

Hunting season has started. It means that soon (hopefully) our freezer will be full again. It also means that I’m a a single parent for the next few weekends. Last year, hunting season meant it was my first time flying solo as a parent. I remember a fair amount of anxiety leading up to it, but that’s about it. I think I tempered it by having my mom come over for some (all) of it.

hunting season is upon us
Prior to the kid, I’d practice while they sighted their guns for the season

This year it’s a little less scary, but more stressful. Work is back in the mix, as well as soccer, basketball, and rugby; maybe we should cut back a little on the extra-curricular activities… meh, there will be plenty of time for being a “retired athlete” later. I’ll be honest, when I looked at the calendar for October I was not looking forward to it. “Urrrghhh” would be a good word for it. It’s not like when Tyler’s away I get to do a bunch of stuff I have been wanting to do. Callahan isn’t really “going places and doing things” friendly anymore. He’s good, just energetic.

 

hunting season is upon us
His first harvest

Prior to having Callahan, I tossed around the idea of getting my license and going hunting with Tyler. But I never bothered. Not because I didn’t like the idea of hunting or hanging out in the woods in less than ideal conditions (but, no, I don’t like the sound of that). But because it felt like something Tyler needed to do on his own. With his hunting partner. Two well-educated fathers, who contribute to society in a positive way; but turn into smellier, weirder versions of themselves. I don’t need to be privy to that.

hunting season is upon us
Enjoying the views & fresh air

It was also kinda nice to have the weekend and apartment to myself. Even if I was working. It meant I could be a in a judgement free zone. Yes, we all do things that even those that love us unconditionally will judge us for. Mine usually involves a lack of any movement other than those required for eating. I could sleep in the middle of the bed like a starfish, or binge watch shows Tyler doesn’t want to watch on Netflix. And then he’d come home, and we’d have missed each other just enough. It was a good balance. Nowadays, its a bit more than just missing each other though. It’s him missing Callahan, and me missing some co-parent relief.

hunting season is upon us
A trunk full of meat that stunk my car up for a week & was totally worth it

This season didn’t get off to a great start. His first weekend away was rather, pukey. You can read about our sickly weekend here. So far he’s been skunked but we’re hoping for that to turn around. He only has one more weekend that he can sneak away and get some hunting in, otherwise that’s it. We have added in a vegetarian meal to our repertoire lately, so we could survive without, but its just so delicious! So no pressure…

The good side of all this is that we usually get a freezer full of top notch meat. Tyler gets some guy time, and gets to practice a hobby other than being a weekend warrior at rugby. And I get a mostly low-key weekend which I’ve been craving a lot of recently. Since there may be a few anti-hunting people out there (and that’s totally fine), I’ll address the inevitable:

They don’t go hunting because they like killing things. They go because they like being outdoors. With a couple good sized deer they can feed their family for the rest of the year. The meat is better for you than beef, its “free-range”, “organic”, “gluten-free” whatever, its straight from nature to table; and there is immense satisfaction in eating something you went out and harvested yourself. Unlike a lot of people buying meat at the grocery store (ourselves included) they know exactly where their meat came from; they spent hours searching, hiking, and waiting for that animal. Okay maybe there’s a lot of waiting, in the seated position, maybe even in a heated, mobile blind… When they spot it, they look through their scope and pull the trigger only if it’s a good shot. They don’t want the animal to suffer.

hunting season is upon us
winter camping trip, can’t tell by the pic

Rather than being raised to be food; the deer are chilling doing deer things; like eating grass or sleeping, or meeting some Thicc Does at the creek on a Friday night. They are living their best life. #blessed.ย  There’s almost no environmental impact or waste (compared to any other hobby). In their first 2 years hunting, the hides and hooves were made into rattles and the hide was tanned by a local First Nations member. They also brought some for a local First Nations Educator to use in class for the same purposes. All the guts that are left behind become food for another animal. They aren’t trophy hunting, they’re looking for dinner.

We aren’t religious people, but there is a spiritualness to taking the life of an animal so that you can feed your family. You honour that animal by not letting it suffer, by using as much of it as possible and by only taking as much as you need. They also don’t take 3000 pictures and plaster them all over facebook. This isn’t a show of their masculinity, that’s disrespectful to the animal. They take one picture (like the one above), for the same reason you take any picture; to remember what you were feeling, thinking, seeing, smelling in that moment. To memorialize the animal.

Hunting is something Tyler remembers doing as a kid with his Dad; he can’t wait to be able to take Callahan out hunting one day. He’ll show him all the things he needs to know to survive in the wilderness, and how to appreciate the earth and what it has to offer.

hunting season is upon usAre any of you working through hunting season as a single parent? What do you love/hate about it?

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