I can never decide if I’m actually mad, or just, momentarily outraged. I’ve never bought into the horoscope crap, because that would mean I hold grudges and am extremely passionate (scorpio btw). I don’t think I’m either of those things. I’m too lazy to hold grudges, they take up too much energy, and I just can’t be bothered. Which is where that passion should step in and be like, “Don’t worry anger we got the grudge covered”, but alas, I am not passionate either, mostly again, lazy.
I’ve tried to have hobbies, but frankly, I’m not passionate about any of them. I like photography, its cool, but meh. I like sports, but I’m not a psycho super fan. I’ve tried scrapbooking, no offense if you like it, but I haven’t looked at my scrapbook, except to cringe, in years. It is awfully expensive, and a regular photo album, kinda covers the bases. I tried knitting when I was 9, and that went nowhere fast.
I like writing and creating for this blog, but I also hate it. Blogging is like 20% writing (the good part) and 80% promoting the shit out of it. And that shit sucks. Doing it on your own is difficult, and all the things that make a successful blog, are the things I hate about other “successful” blogs. Which is precisely why I started this blog, to be the antithesis of other blogs.
In general, I’m like a human shrug. It’s cool, I’ll dabble, but I’m not about to become obsessed with something. The only thing I really like doing is traveling and watching TV. I LOVE TV. I don’t know why we gotta shit on it so much. Do I like reading? Sure I do, but I like TV better. I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m ashamed of it and that we don’t watch a lot of TV. We do, and we probably should cut back, but its cold and dark outside and I’m tired, and now Netflix does the “skip intro” which is AMAZING. TV is my hobby, the only one that has lasted my whole 30 years.
Traveling is my other hobby. The lucrative one, the one I wish I could do more of. Less work, more travel. But we’ve decided we like living here, and here is kind of expensive. Also traveling is different now with a kid. Which is fine, and I’ll go anyway because I’m desperate for a fix. But toss in a pregnancy and now any hope of a trip is pretty much quashed until further notice. We could sell everything and travel the world (certainly considered it) but that’s too much. I’m semi risk averse. I like having a home to come back to. I like being able to see my family regularly. So here we are, stuck trying to find balance.
As far as I can tell, the only way to find balance at this point is to win the lotto, which is actually one of a very few goals I actually have.