Nap Time is the Best Time

There is no time during a parent’s day, more glorious than Bed Time. The relief can only be compared to the second best time of day, Nap Time. Nap time is the best time. I write this here today, in my pink fuzzy housecoat, stuffed up nose, enjoying a reheated coffee. Today’s morning nap is necessary. Everyone needs it. Unfortunately, it looks like Callahan has other plans.

nap time is the best timeYou see, Callahan doesn’t nap at daycare, like AT ALL. Maybe you don’t have kids, or you’ve forgotten how important sleep is to these tiny little terrorists. But they NEED their naps. If they skip a nap, or don’t nap at all, it doesn’t mean they will just sleep longer that night or go to bed earlier. NOoOOooOoOooOooOo, that would be too easy. No, a skipped nap means the rest of your day goes to shit. You can write off everything else you had planned for the day; call it a forfeit, pay the fine, and move on.

nap time is the best timeWhen Callahan was a teeny baby and we were in the teeny apartment, I used to get bored when he napped. It was great because I felt like I had accomplished something; and getting him to sleep truly was a test in will power, creativity, and strength. I would shower, get “dressed” and then I would sit there, quietly, drinking my coffee and waiting for him to wake up. Yes, that’s right. I missed him and I was bored. It didn’t help that the apartment was so small I couldn’t do much. Eventually I figured out how to do laundry or ride the bike, but it took a while to build up that confidence that I wouldn’t wake him.

Once sleep training was accomplished and we were in the new place, napsnap time is the best time suddenly became THE BEST THING EVER. I could clean up, exercise, shower, eat, do whatever I wanted! It was great! He napped consistently, twice a day for about 3 hours total, it was awesome. Flash forward to now:

Now, it seems Callahan only wants one nap. He fucks around in his crib for an hour at each nap, is a general pain in the ass, works himself up. Ugh. So we caved, we said fine little man, today you can have only one nap. We kept him up, went to the park, gave him snacks, whatever it took to keep him happy until our pre-determined nap time. It worked, for a few days, until the snotpocalypse/cough/ear infection he had just finished getting over reared its ugly head.

nap time is the best timeAre you fucking kidding me?! WHY?! That’s not fair! These babies, they are just little predatory germ sponges. They absorb whatever disgustingness their daycare friends have, lick the shopping cart handles, and let the germs lay dormant until you try and change their sleeping habits, or go on a holiday, or you’re not feeling good. Then BAM!!


So today, I’m home sick with whatever godforsaken plague he’s brought nap time is the best timeus. Like a cat bringing his owner a dead mouse, kids bring you colds. Tyler’s sick with it, and Callahan is still, you know it! Spewing snot everywhere and refusing to nap. So I’m forcing this one, this kid needs as much sleep as possible. I need a break from jumping up to wipe his snotty nose with my fingers, because that’s all I have time to use before the giant pendulum of snot completes it’s collision course with the couch. And sleep will make you health(ier).

nap time is the best timeSo if you’re wondering, no, he’s still not asleep. All his stuffies and blankets are on the floor, and the battery on the baby monitor is dying. Sometimes, when he’s napping and I don’t want to do anything, I like watching videos of him from earlier in the day or week. Because yes, even though I need a break, I still miss him.

But not today little man, you will nap, so help me God…..

… the time I finished writing this, I had caved and pulled him out of the crib. And he has the audacity to yawn in my presence.

Nap Time

Please follow and like us:

Baby’s First Vaccinations

babys first vaccinationsFirst, lets get this out of the way- I’m clearly PRO Vaccinations given the title of this post. Second, I’m not here to convince you one way or the other; I’m not a fucking doctor and neither are the people telling you vaccinations are bad for you… so don’t listen to us. Third, I’m not here to have a discussion about vaccinations; I’m here to tell you a funny tale of our first set of vaccinations. With that said, there will be no debates about vaccinations unless you want to be publicly ridiculed.

This time last year Callahan was scheduled for his first set of vaccinations. It was no big deal to me, except that I would have to leave my house, go in public, and do it all by myself. Tyler had recently gone back to work and up until this point, I hadn’t had to do much by myself. I got myself ready to go, wearing semi-human looking clothing, and cursed that the appointment was during nap time. Yes, I could have changed it, but its Murphy’s law the kid would nap though it regardless of what time it was at.

baby's first vaccinations
later that day

We went down to the public health office, where a nice older lady weighed and measured Callahan and then directed us into a room with a couple nurses. One of the nurses was finishing her schooling and would be administering the shots. She asked me a bunch of questions about home life thus far. Everything was fine, except my belly sleeping baby did not fit their construct of safe sleeping habits. I spent a few minutes almost arguing with them that I understood what was safe and recommended; but I had tried everything for several weeks and he just won’t sleep unless he’s on his stomach.

Eventually the senior nurse moved the interview forward, but it was too late. I was sweating bullets. I was already sweating due to the temperature change from outdoors to indoors. Now I was sweating because I was stressed about a belly sleeping baby (which I had already stressed out about for weeeeeeeeks), and then add on the regular postpartum sweat.

The shots were given in both legs while I was breastfeeding him. He turned tomato red as he decided if he was going to cry or not. The needles look so big compared to his little leg, but they were fine, he was fine, I was fine. We were all good. I didn’t cry, and neither did he. Yay! They asked us to stay for 15 minutes in the waiting room to make sure Callahan didn’t have any sort of reaction and then we were free to go.

As I stood up to go to the waiting room, Callahan, nestled on my shoulder, unleashed a cascade of spit-up you had to see to believe. Of course, he couldn’t have managed to hit only the floor. No, he barfed all down my shoulder, arm, back, hips, thighs, and feet. He even blessed my hair with a dollop of puke-pomade. He was fine of course, just yakking up the milk he didn’t really want in the first place.

The nurses cleaned up the floor and I made my sweaty, barfy way into the waiting room. I tried dabbing myself clean, but it was futile. We waited the 15 minutes, hoping I would stop sweating and that Callahan wouldn’t barf anymore. I got up and walked outta there with my sleeping baby, a butt shaped sweat mark on the seat, and barf-laden hair trickling behind me.

Please follow and like us:

Things No One Tells You :: Babies

This is my final installment in the “Things No One Tells You” series (you can read the others here and here). This time its about babies, and if you’re thinking “oh man here’s another long rant/list” you can relax, thankfully, people never fail to tell you endless amounts of information about babies (even when you don’t want it). So here I go, throwing more information at you, unsolicited.

Things No One Tells You:

Soft Indicators on your Ultrasound. I’m not a doctor, but I’m going to try my best to give you the simplest explanation I can. At our 20 week ultrasound, they identified a “soft indicator” or a spot on the heart. This is likely a hole in the heart (which is very common at this stage, and will likely close up). The doctor asked us to come in and explained this to us. The first thing she said was “I am legally required to tell you this, otherwise I would not. In my experience this is usually not an issue, so don’t stress out about it”.

things no one tells
Our 1st ultrasound was hunky dory

What they are looking for are indicators of a genetic disorder (most commonly, Down Syndrome). This particular indicator was considered a “soft” indicator; basically there needs to be other indicators for this one to be taken seriously. I had initially said no to some blood tests at the beginning of my pregnancy, because the doctor explained there are a lot of false positives and it wasn’t worth the stress unless I was willing to put a giant needle into my belly for the 2nd set of tests (which I was not).

This day was the last day we could do the test. We opted to do it, not so we could terminate the pregnancy based on the results, but so we could prepare ourselves better for the future. (If you did terminate a pregnancy based on these tests, no judgement, everyone is different and every situation is different). The doctor scheduled us for another ultrasound a few weeks later and the test results came back fine.

That day was stressful, and it took mentioning it to a few friends before things no one tellswe realized how common this is. You probably know someone who has experienced this exact scenario, and all turned out well. This would have been a nice thing to know about ultrasounds prior to having one. Rather than the usual pseudoscience of gender guessing based on the location of the placenta.

As it turns out, many doctors are pushing to be able to withold this information unless there are more than one indicator, citing that the stress is harmful and the extra testing is a burden on the system, given the low rates of actual diagnoses compared to the high number of ultrasounds with “soft indicators”. So don’t panic and definitely don’t google this when you get home from the doctor’s office.

Benign Neonatal Sleep Myoclonus. This is the fancy term for this absolutely terrifying thing your baby might do. But guess what? It’s common and its not an issue. If you do a search of this, there are THOUSANDS of posts of panicked mothers looking for direction.

Here’s what it is, in simpleton: While nursing Callahan, he was falling asleep and he started shaking. Initially it looked like a seizure. And I freaked out. I started yelling his name (which he still didn’t know, so, not helpful) and then I noticed a few things that helped me calm down… 1) Only his upper body was shaking. 2) He wasn’t clamping onto my breast, but still nursing. 4) He wasn’t flailing, it was fairly mild, but still alarming. 3) It stopped after about 7-10 seconds. I immediately googled this and saw all these responses and calmed down.

things no one tells
see he’s fine, LOL

You know when you’re falling asleep and sometimes you twitch/feel like you’re falling? Essentially this is what’s happening with the baby. Their Neurological systems are still developing and are just firing at random. This happened a few more times and then it happened one day as he was waking up, poor Tyler, I had forgot to mention it had happened at all, so he rightfully panicked. I decided to mention it to my doctor, as the waking up shaking wasn’t mentioned in any of the posts, just the falling asleep. I wasn’t worried, but as one of my sisters had been diagnosed with epilepsy a few years prior, thought it best to be sure.

Given the family history, my doctor agreed it was likely nothing, to try and catch it on video (which I never managed since it was always done before I could grab my phone), and referred us to the pediatrician for peace of mind. All was well, the pediatrician said its very common and not a concern. My sister having epilepsy (and her type of epilepsy) was not a factor, unless I or Tyler had epilepsy, and unless it gets worse or he doesn’t outgrow it in the next year or so, there is no need to be concerned.

Having mentioned this to a few co-workers and friends, yet again we learned it was common and no big deal. He rarely does this now, but he also doesn’t nurse to sleep anymore, and when it does happen, its always when he’s being woken up in his car seat or stroller. Even then, its usually just one of his hands twitching, not a full body spasm anymore.

things no one tells
nothing wrong with the kid, the other guy? not so sure

So there you have it, things no one tells you about your baby. Now you won’t panic if it happens, you’re welcome. I also think the advice my friend told me about pregnancy can be applied to babies:

Everything is normal until its not.

Please follow and like us: