There is no time during a parent’s day, more glorious than Bed Time. The relief can only be compared to the second best time of day, Nap Time. Nap time is the best time. I write this here today, in my pink fuzzy housecoat, stuffed up nose, enjoying a reheated coffee. Today’s morning nap is necessary. Everyone needs it. Unfortunately, it looks like Callahan has other plans.
You see, Callahan doesn’t nap at daycare, like AT ALL. Maybe you don’t have kids, or you’ve forgotten how important sleep is to these tiny little terrorists. But they NEED their naps. If they skip a nap, or don’t nap at all, it doesn’t mean they will just sleep longer that night or go to bed earlier. NOoOOooOoOooOooOo, that would be too easy. No, a skipped nap means the rest of your day goes to shit. You can write off everything else you had planned for the day; call it a forfeit, pay the fine, and move on.
When Callahan was a teeny baby and we were in the teeny apartment, I used to get bored when he napped. It was great because I felt like I had accomplished something; and getting him to sleep truly was a test in will power, creativity, and strength. I would shower, get “dressed” and then I would sit there, quietly, drinking my coffee and waiting for him to wake up. Yes, that’s right. I missed him and I was bored. It didn’t help that the apartment was so small I couldn’t do much. Eventually I figured out how to do laundry or ride the bike, but it took a while to build up that confidence that I wouldn’t wake him.
Once sleep training was accomplished and we were in the new place, naps suddenly became THE BEST THING EVER. I could clean up, exercise, shower, eat, do whatever I wanted! It was great! He napped consistently, twice a day for about 3 hours total, it was awesome. Flash forward to now:
Now, it seems Callahan only wants one nap. He fucks around in his crib for an hour at each nap, is a general pain in the ass, works himself up. Ugh. So we caved, we said fine little man, today you can have only one nap. We kept him up, went to the park, gave him snacks, whatever it took to keep him happy until our pre-determined nap time. It worked, for a few days, until the snotpocalypse/cough/ear infection he had just finished getting over reared its ugly head.
Are you fucking kidding me?! WHY?! That’s not fair! These babies, they are just little predatory germ sponges. They absorb whatever disgustingness their daycare friends have, lick the shopping cart handles, and let the germs lay dormant until you try and change their sleeping habits, or go on a holiday, or you’re not feeling good. Then BAM!!
SNOT IS EVERYWHERE.
So today, I’m home sick with whatever godforsaken plague he’s brought us. Like a cat bringing his owner a dead mouse, kids bring you colds. Tyler’s sick with it, and Callahan is still, you know it! Spewing snot everywhere and refusing to nap. So I’m forcing this one, this kid needs as much sleep as possible. I need a break from jumping up to wipe his snotty nose with my fingers, because that’s all I have time to use before the giant pendulum of snot completes it’s collision course with the couch. And sleep will make you health(ier).
So if you’re wondering, no, he’s still not asleep. All his stuffies and blankets are on the floor, and the battery on the baby monitor is dying. Sometimes, when he’s napping and I don’t want to do anything, I like watching videos of him from earlier in the day or week. Because yes, even though I need a break, I still miss him.
But not today little man, you will nap, so help me God…..
…..by the time I finished writing this, I had caved and pulled him out of the crib. And he has the audacity to yawn in my presence.