Tyler and Mum keep asking me what I want to do for my birthday. It’s this week, and I’m turning 30. I’m pretty indifferent to turning 30 and my birthday in general. I only make any reference to it in the hopes I get to go out for dinner. This year Tyler will be hunting on the weekend of my birthday. At first I was pissed. Like seriously? WTF BRO?! But I don’t have the passion to be indignant about it *insert shoulder shrug here*.
I feel like things have changed in the last few years, and that we don’t seem to panic as much about turning 30 as we used to. I certainly don’t care. It’s not weird or stressful to me. Maybe its because I’ve reached all those traditional milestones; I have a degree, a home, a baby, wedding rings that don’t fit and a few trips under my widening belt. It would be fair to conclude that those are the reasons I’m okay with it. But I’ve never really made a big deal over any age. And I feel like I’m just too fucking lazy to get upset about those sorts of things.
Turning 16 didn’t mean I could suddenly drive (hello “L” and “N” licenses); also, it was the age I was allowed to start dating. Despite what my Dad keeps saying, I DID stick to that rule. When I turned 18 I didn’t suddenly start buying cigarettes and watching porn (I’d been doing that for yearssssss haha JK); turning 19 was just as anticlimactic, as I didn’t drink and wouldn’t drink for a few more years (I know, what a waste). Just after I turned 21 I went to New York on my first trip with a friend and had a drink, something super sugary I’m sure. Ages 22-24 I could never remember how old I was, and said I was 21 for 2 years before I realized my mistake.
I mean, they are just numbers after all; when 14 year olds look more put together and attractive than I do at 29, does it really matter any more? There’s no pressure to have your shit under control by a certain age. Mostly because “under control” is a lie. On average, people get married (for the first time) in their late twenties to early thirties. More first time moms are in their 30’s than their 20’s. No one can afford a fucking house, let alone save for retirement or even pay off their student loans. So, I think people just don’t care. Soon there will be no shame in being a 40 year old virgin living in your parents basement with a sexbot.
Lately I don’t make plans for my birthday because I’m traveling. I was traveling back from Peru on my birthday, celebrating in the airport with a chocolate bar from my travel buddies. I’ve sat on a patio at an Irish pub in Paris and watched a protest make its way down the street. I’ve been in Waikiki getting a surprise spa morning followed up with some time on the North Shore. Okay, so 3 out of 30 birthdays I’ve been traveling. But I think I have an idea for a new arrangement in honour of my birthday. It’s much cheaper and I don’t expect to get any push back.
For each weekend Tyler is away for anything other than work, I get a full weekend of sleeping in. Earplugs, Eyemask, Sleeping pills if necessary, baby monitor on his side of the bed. Eh, Fuck it. I’m going to take it a step further and sleep in the spare room.
Can you tell I’m a mom? When my greatest desire for a “big” birthday is to sleep like I’m dead. Tyler will probably find out about this arrangement when I post this, because you know, hunting season. To be fair, Tyler usually makes some really great birthday celebrations for me. Mostly spa days followed up with a delicious meal. How can you go wrong with that? We went out this weekend with some friends and family for some cheap Mexican food and terrible karaoke, I’m not pregnant so I wanted to make the most of being able to drink (and I did). It was a solid night, despite the fact that we started the day with a domestic because it *appeared* Tyler had made no effort for my birthday. Turns out he has, but is keeping things close to his chest.
What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve asked for, for your birthday? Or better yet, what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever DONE on your birthday?! I’m trying to think of the most ridiculous thing I ever did on/for my birthday. The only thing I can think of is for one birthday I wore a strapless dress (10/10 would do me); but in every picture I look nakey, nakey, nakey. For my birthday, how about you make us all laugh and comment below with your “best” birthday story!
Edit- this weekend I twerked on stage at El Nopal while Klinger knocked Juvenile’s “Back that Ass Up” outta the park. Ridiculous? Yes, ridiculously good. 😉 Yay for 30!!